In this gem, the bizarre, safety conscious squirrel Tufty goes to the ice
cream van and doesn't get run over.
"This is what happened
one day when the ice cream van stopped by Tufty's house."
"Ice cream!"
(Nothing much gets past this squirrel lad...)
"And Tufty goes to find
his mummy. Tufty always asks his mummy to go with him to the ice
cream van."
(Not because he doesn't like crossing the road, but because
the man in the ice cream van has only one eye, lots of scars and the word
"Hate" tattooed across both sets of knuckles, and he scares the squirrely
shit out of Tufty.)
"But Willy Weasel has
gone off to get an ice cream by himself!"
(The mad, crazy fool!)
(Stupidly, all the action takes place out of shot, behind
the ice cream van. Notice "Mad" Willy Weasel exiting stage left,
as a car approaches stage right. Screech, thump, etc.)
"Oh dear!"
(What's the matter? Has Mrs Tufty left her money
at home? Has the man in the ice cream van caused Tufty to lose control
of his bowels? Or has that idiot weasel just been knocked over again?)
"Oh, mummy! Willy
has been knocked down by a car!"
(Notice how neither the car driver, nor the scary man
in the ice cream van, rush to help...)
"Now Willy has been hurt,
and all because he didn't ask his mummy to go with him to the ice cream
van."
(And as if that wasn't bad enough, he's dropped his ice
cream! The whole escapade has been a complete bummer!)
"When you want
to go to the ice cream van, always take mummy with you."
(A cliffhanger ending, as we never find out exactly how
badly hurt Willy Weasel is; whether or not he can act sufficiently hurt
to get Mrs Tufty to buy him another ice cream; or how he gets to the ice
cream van in the future when everybody in the street knows that his mummy
ran off with the milkman eighteen months ago and hasn't been seen since.)
