Now, some extremely important advice for anyone worried about the spread
of Foot And Mouth Disease, and frankly, who isn't?
This month's film begins with four very ominous sounding
drumbeats, then...
"Attention! This
is an official announcement!"
(Perfectly designed to scare the living crap out of anyone
watching, even if they've never been near a farm in their life. Genius.)
"An outbreak of Foot
& Mouth has been confirmed for this area, "
(So now every child in the area will be having nightmares
about giant feet and mouths rampaging through the countryside and coming
to get them when they're in bed. Well, thanks.)
"So take immediate precautions
to stop it spreading to your stock."
(Blimey, he sounds serious. I'd better take precautions
immediately - I just bought some stock cubes yesterday, don't want them
sprouting feet and mouths.)
"In particular, close
off all entrances to your farm except the main one, across which you should
lay a straw mat."
(If the shady looking character with the shabbily-made
"Keep Out" sign is a real farmer, I'll eat my trousers. Still, the
policeman seems to appreciate the effort, not that he's a real policeman
either if you ask me...)
"Apply fresh disinfectant
to it daily, and provide facilities for disinfecting boots and vehicles.
And, keep all unnecessary visitors away."
(You'd think someone would have spotted the business
opportunity and started producing professionally made "Keep Out" signs.
Still, it does the job. Don't forget to wipe your feet on the way
out.)
"If you see any symptoms
of Foot & Mouth in your stock - frothing, lameness, or anything unusual
- take no chances, phone us immediately."
(I don't understand... why should I phone an actor dressed
as a policeman if my stock begins to froth? Impersonating a police
officer is a very serious offence, you know.)
"And please, everyone
- keep away from farms."
(Doesn't look like we have much choice, does it?
Evenin' all. Mind how you go.)
